I want to vomit.
I want to vomit words upon a page. I want to write. I want to tell you everything that’s happened in my life since January, but I don’t want to write about that so…
I truly want to vomit. Technically, it was earlier this morning, but the feeling haunts me as I think about what lies ahead.
It was somewhere around minute 17 of 20. You see, I’m not a runner. I never have been. When I played soccer I was the goalie. I’m not sure if my 7-year-old self already knew I Wouldn’t be a runner – or if becoming the goalie at such a young age kept me from having to become a runner.
I have a foggy memory of joining The Angels and thinking, now there’s a position where I don’t have to run, but I could be making that up. Maybe they just needed a girl willing to get a little dirtier than the rest, and my tomboy self knew that was the job for me.
One thing I do know is that not having to run is one of the reasons I stayed there. Well, that and I was really good at defending my goal. At 5’3” it seems like a stretch of the imagination, but stretch I did – and lunge and dive and attack the ball so that my height didn’t hold me back. But I digress.
I remember a time in High School when my coach made us run as a team – 5 laps around the football field. We had to run together, without breaking stride. If one player stopped the rest of the team would take another lap while they watched. I’m not sure if he was specifically targeting me, but it sure felt that way somewhere around lap 3.
My team was smart; they placed me at the front of the pack. They encouraged me to keep running. They slowed down when I was on the verge of hyperventilating. They cheered when I made lap 4, further than I had ever run without stopping. They kept me going. They pushed me until I threw up! It was at the end of lap 5, so it was okay.
This morning I started Day 1 of Week 1 of the Couch to 5K program. I didn’t have a team behind me encouraging me to keep going, but I did. I kept going until I felt like I was going to throw up, but I didn’t. My goal is more than 5K so I have a long road of running ahead of me. Today is Day 1. On October 5th I plan to cross the finish line of the Cleveland Rock ‘N Roll Hall of Fame Half-Marathon. Ugh!